Saying goodbye

Nothing tastes as bitter as goodbyes feel.

Do you know that exact moment when you get on the plane, a while after you said goodbye, and it suddenly hits you: you don't know how long it's gonna be until you see that person again, you're going back to skype and facebook messages, you're losing them once again.
And then you feel it, at that exact moment you literally feel your heart breaking and suddenly you can't breathe. The pain becomes phsical, you can feel your chest exploding, you feel your eyes getting filled by tears. But you don't cry. You just stay there, really still and really quiet, hoping for it all to go away.
Knowing there might be other people in that plane, feeling the exact same thing and suffering in silence.
You promise to yourself that you won't lose it. You save the tears for later. You know you're gonna break down as soon as you go to bed and you're all alone with your thoughts, when no one can see or hear you cry.
You hate how much they mean to you, how impractical you are for getting attached to someone who lives so far away from you. How can you be expected to go back to your regular life after being reminded each and every reason why you need that person next to you?
You remember how excited you were about seeing them again, how long you'd been looking forward to this, and now suddenly it's over. How long is it gonna be this time? Three months? Five? Seven? Maybe you have a fight, or something happens, and you never see each other again. Only even thinking about that makes you sick.

And then, all of a sudden, you're not angry nor sad, not even frustrated. You just feel... numb.


There's nothing worse in this world than having to say goodbye to someone you care about, and some of us have done it way too many times.